A Basic Realization Can Be a Terrible Shock
I had been wondering why people never got the big picture. They could sometimes focus very well on part of the picture, but could not see the wider view.
Saturday I got my answer – and it was dramatic, as I related in my posting Companies That Cannot be Fixed. I wasn’t thinking too well at the time, and I am just now, two days later, able to write about it.:
Yesterday, I had a serious mental and physical collapse while eating in a restaurant. I had been reading Karl Jasper’s Mundane Existence and Existenz when I started to sweating profusely, and sat there only semi-conscious with the snot drooling out of my nose. Fortunately, no one panicked – and about 30 minutes later I was able to stagger home and put myself to bed.
As I said, I was drifting in and out of consciousness, but one thought was clear “This is the sickness unto death. I have heard of this, but now I know what it feels like.” I had to walk by the taxi stand on the way home (about five blocks) and they were all staring at me in amazement. I must have been quite a sight.
The human mind/body combination is not capable of such a shock. One day later, I was barely able to take my dried laundry down from the line.
Our problems have become too big for us to even comprehend – and we are physically unable to comprehend this.
Hal, just tried to skype you to talk about this…
Was this a reaction to what you were reading? or something else? Sounds like of like the times when you fell when hiking or riding your bike.
You OK?
This is a hard question to answer, because it has no clear-cut, single answer.
However, medically I think the answer is clear: there was a severe crisis, but I have recovered from it – medically. There is no sign of brain damage or physical disability.
Emotionally, the situation is more complicated. I have been changed, and I probably will never be the same – and I don’t want to be the same. I have to learn from this experience, and build on it.