Women Who Destroy Men
This is not something I am supposed to talk about. But someone should be, and why not me?
This is a pattern I have noticed over and over – beginning in my own family, where no love was lost between my parents – who were nominally a man and a women, but were really something else I have never been able to fathom. The bottom line, however was clear enough: mother hated father, and abused him – and this was what he wanted.
Naturally, this carried over into my own marriage. Beth married her father, she thought, and proceeded to act like her mother. I did the same. This was not what either of us wanted, but we were were helpless in the grip of circumstances.
Eventually, Beth told me she was leaving me because she loved me – something that made so sense at the time. But eventually I was able to see what she meant – she knew she was treating me badly, but could not help herself.
Her only solution (as she saw it) was to leave me – and eventually she left herself. I went on to have other relationships – all of which exploited me. I can only assume (reluctantly) that this is what I wanted.
My Silicon Valley therapists had difficulty seeing this pattern. Because, I believe now, abuse was so common in the Valley no one could see it. They could see part of the pattern: they could see women abusing their men (or the opposite) – or parents abusing their children – but could not relate that to a bigger pattern.
You, I am sure, can.