Our favorite romantic fantasy is that will will find love and live happily ever after. This seldom happens, but we have never given up on the fantasy.
We teach it to our small children – because they like it so much. They face quite a shock when they realize the hypocrisy of it.
We think of Love (with a capital L) as something existing by itself, when it should be thought of as a continuum, or spectrum – with pure love at one end and pure hate at the other – both conditions that seldom happen by themselves.
Or even more realistically, as existing in a universe of possibilities - where almost anything can be associated with (or connected to) almost anything else. Why (or how) these strange connections happen is a complete mystery. They just happen, and we have to live with them.
We quickly (perhaps even before we are born) become used to some particular combination of connections – and replicate them (or at least something closely resembling them) throughout the rest of our lives. And we show great ingenuity in doing so. And in hiding this from ourselves and others.