Archive for the ‘ The Self ’ Category

Nobody Home

Ever since I read Fun Home, I have been trying to write about my own childhood – and it has not been easy. How could I give my readers a feel for it in a few words?

Early this morning (an excellent time for new ideas) the words popped into my head “Nobody Home.” That was what our home (if you could call it that) was like.

This is not the first time this phrase has occurred to me. Many times, it seems, I have made the same observation about other people – there was no one at home. They lived in an empty house.

It never occurred to me that this might have been a deliberate choice. One made by individuals and their culture. In certain situations, this must seem like the only sensible thing to do. To not be. And to not be all the way.

This must have been the objective of my parents and their generation – and we have improved on it to a remarkable degree. They have developed a perverse new skill that I have to admire – and abhor.

There is no one at home – and they don’t want anyone there either.

The Two Layers of Our Lives

These two layers are the superficial and the profound. Or in Freudian terms, the conscious and the unconscious. The part of us that changes quickly and the part that endures.

When did this split happen? This is one of those questions we steadfastly ignore. We ignore the fact of the split – but wondering why, when, and how it happened we ignore even more. With scant evidence to back me up – I assume its appearance was part of the formation of the Modern world. An event we have also not looked at very carefully either.

The origin of the Modern world is something we should be intensely interested in – but are not. This aversion should tip us off that something important is buried here. That we have worked very had at not knowing something very important about ourselves.

There are a number of ways of looking at this. To begin with, I will consider the difference between the development of individuals and development of groups or societies. The two are obviously related – but they are also different matters entirely.

What we have here is a complex situation (where everything effects everything else all the time) – as contrasted with a complicated situation (where cause-and-effect event-chains happen independently of each other). The discovery of complexity was one of the great discoveries of recent science – that was made possible by the computer – who can handle it without much difficulty.

As contrasted with Newtonian physics, which uses a mathematics that can only handle two variables at a time (such as cause and effect). The Newtonian world-view was built into Calvinistic Protestantism which became the bed-rock of the North (Northern Europe and North America). And was completely denied by the South (Southern Europe and Latin America).

Once again, we are looking at a huge event that has been ignored. And which people want to ignore. Climate Science, for example, develops large models (computer models) that correlate many variables - and then tests them to see how well they work. This makes people furious – they claim this is not real science - and therefore is not just erroneous, but evil – because it contradicts their belief in eternal economic growth. Which the slightest thought can easily debunk.

I am strongly tempted to followup on this train of thought (about complexity) but I will stubbornly return to the subject – the two layers of life – or at least the  two layers of life as we live it.

When a child is born, he immediately begins forming his own life (he actually begins even earlier, but we will overlook that). This process of individual development will include parts of him that will change only little, such as his genetic endowment – and parts of him that he will try on frequently – like new suits of clothing.

If he (or she) is a serious person, she will try to understand her deeper parts also. And will probably use other people (perhaps trained professionals) in this attempt to understand her basic self.  I cannot resist at this point to refer you to a TED talk by Meg Jay about this very problem.

But, as Meg says, for the most part people do not do this, but remain steadfastly superficial. Which is not very bright – but they can easily overlook that.

I will end this posting here – without going into the very big subject of the two layers of society itself. Maybe I will write about that later.

Self and Society

I am obsessed with the idea of Being, and am convinced a lot more work needs to be done on it. This posting is an attempt to do just that.

I used to subscribe to New Scientist, and still would be, except it costs $234 a year! They keep pestering me to subscribe again – and sent me a notice about their latest issue, which is about the Self. Since I am registered with their site, I can browse each issue – and I promptly took at look at this one.

This issue takes great delight in proving to its readers that the Self is an illusion! To be fair, one of their contributors also says this may be so – but it is still a useful illusion we should not discard. I ordered his book Reality, a Very Short Introduction.

It’s about time someone took the Self in hand and made sense of it. And another closely-related idea – Society.

The being of inanimate objects, a rock for example, is simple – it is simply what it is in itself.  It exists in a larger world, where it is affected by other objects – a person may pick it up the throw at at another. But this does not effect the rock itself. If it is ground up and made part of a road – each little rock is still a rock.

But as soon as life appears, things change drastically. Each individual has its own life-history – and as result, can vary. The mouse in my house quickly learned where the food was – and was a different mouse after that. Over time, mice evolved to be more successful in our company.

But with social animals, things were more complicated. The social behavior of whole species could evolve – and did. Edward O. Wilson describes this for our species in my other posting today The Riddle of the Human Species.

What I want to point out is that for us Self and Society are constructed on-the-fly – and are absolutely essential. In favorable situations they are enhanced – and in unfavorable situations (such as the one we are on now) they are degraded.

In favorable times, a society rises. In unfavorable times it falls. It doesn’t take a genius to see where we are now. What is more difficult to see is our self-destructive society. I have a very hard time seeing this myself. But Reality keeps hitting me over the head – with the behavior of people, such as my family, who seem to rejoice in showing me how nasty they can be.

I might as well come out and say it. We live in Evil Times. And if we are going to survive, we have to recognize this. And strengthen our selves and our society.

Breaking the Reality Barrier

It seems to me that we have been running faster and faster all my life. What we have been running away from I do not know. What we have been running towards either. But we have been running faster and faster, as if that were our ultimate destiny – to run faster and faster all the time.

But this could not last forever, there had to be a limit to all this speed – and we have reached it, gone through it, and now don’t quite know what to make of where we are. Which is, simply enough – nowhere. We have been busting our balls to get nowhere. Or more accurately – to nowhere.

I suggest we take a look around, and see where we are. And look at our final breakthrough (or breakdown) more carefully.

I can remember it clearly, since I was at the epicenter of that seismic shift when it happened – Silicon Valley – similar to the Valley of the Shadow of Death – of the ultimate craziness.

And it was crazy, crazy beyond belief. It was like being in the middle of an atomic explosion – but it was a silent explosion that everyone ignored, even as we were being blown to pieces. And would never be able to put ourselves back together again. Everybody was totally convinced that nothing unusual was going on. When, in fact the end of the world was happening.

Note the past tense I have used – the end of the world has already happened, and we are living in the wreckage of that event. Where the most profound wreckage is our shattered selves – that can recognize nothing.

How this will all end up we have no way of knowing – since we have never been here before. We are in uncharted territory, where none of the old rules apply. None of the social rules, that is. And they are all-important.

And these social rules include what we call the economy - which is not some mysterious thing outside us, whose rules we are forced to follow – but a clever social construct we have made ourselves, without thinking of what we were doing (as usual). Now we are faced with a solid fact – it is not working! And we have to fix it – because no one else is going to fix it for us.

But instead of telling ourselves “Hmm, we got to fix this here thing.” We are saying “Help, the sky is falling in and we have no way to stop it!” We display our ignorance, stupidity, and helplessness with great satisfaction. Expecting something else to save us. When nothing else is around.

I repeat – nothing else is around, because we have broken through the Reality Barrier, and left it behind us. We now longer have any interest in Reality and it cannot save us.

The question remains “How did we break through the Reality Barrier?”

I believe in the effects of Technology. Not in technology itself – but in its effects on us – which, it seems to me, are all-powerful. And the technology in question was the Internet – that broke all barriers before it.

I can remember when this happened – back in the Nineties. We all knew it was Big – but didn’t know how it was Big. We just shit in our pants and were determined – absolutely determined - to shape the world to meet its needs. Which eventually, after light-years of effort, we accomplished.

We are now in that world – and don’t know what to make of it.

I have done my usual thing, and set myself the task of understanding it – its technical details. Which, I am satisfied, I understand. It’s really not that complicated, basically.

But I can see how we have been overwhelmed by it – since we never realized what it was – but took it for much more than it was. And have considered ourselves insignificant by comparison. We really do need to go over this change again – more carefully this time. But we do not have this luxury. Time only goes one way – and we are where we are, and not somewhere else.

Even those who do understand the technical details of the computer complex seem to be autistic - unable to understand its effects on people. It is no accident that autism is now so common – how else could it be?

We are what we make, and what we make of ourselves.

Possession by Evil Spirits

Wikipedia – Spirit Possession

This morning, when I decided to write about this, I worried that it was not a respectable subject. Then I realized that respectability was the primary obsession of my miserable parents. I was walking in my parent’s footsteps again!

The next question was clearly “What were they ashamed of?” The answer was clear enough “They were ashamed of what they were!” And what was that? Here words fail me, as if my mind was embarrassed by my ignorance of something so obvious.

I will have to switch into a more abstract language that will not be nearly as satisfying – or even as understandable. We are ashamed because we are no longer human – but something else we cannot explain. We are ashamed – and afraid.

Let me try to explain what I think went on. This seemed to begin with the Industrial Revolution, where machines became more powerful and more important – relative to the people they displaced. A whole way of life was displaced (or replaced). People-oriented activities – based on growing food, the economy of thousands of years – was replaced by manufacturing and by markets. People now served machines (including markets) – instead of machines serving them.

And we became ashamed of ourselves – without realizing it. Because we identified with our machines (the Railroads and the Battleship in particular) and felt we more powerful than ever. We were two things at once (our disowned human selves and our triumphant machines) – with no center between them . We lost our minds, the worst shame imaginable.

Here is where possession by evil spirits comes in. Our machines have spirits (souls) of their own – this is hardly a new idea, but has not been taken seriously enough. This has to be linked with another idea – we are our selves, as individuals and groups – but we are also our situations. We are heavily influenced by our surroundings – and indeed, are part of them. We cannot exist in a pure world of our own (one of our favorite fantasies).

This is where it really gets interesting. How did these spirits (the combination of our spirits and our machine’s spirits) become evil? I have no answer, but can only point to the result – which is clearly evil. There must have been a long chain of events, that will perhaps be deciphered someday by minds smarter than my own.

But one thing is clear enough – our machines (culminating in the Computer) have become more and more powerful.

I can only think of the saying “Fools rush in -”. And we have been fools.

Is the situation hopeless? No, all we have to do is realize where we are – and put ourselves back in control again. But this means facing some powerful forces that strictly forbid us to do this.

All we have to do is realize these forces are not real,  but imaginary – and only exist in our minds.

Affluence is Destructive

Indeed, it is the most destructive force Man has ever discovered –  it makes the Atomic Bomb look puny by comparison. I just barely survived it myself – but the America I left behind is full of the dazed victims of its success, who have no idea what hit them. And every other country in the world is rushing to emulate them.

No matter what the final fall of the world will look like, we can say one thing for sure – The End has already happened, and now we are just waiting for it to inexorably complete itself. It cannot be reversed, because its basic assumption is everywhere the same – everyone wants to be affluent, and will settle for nothing less!

Even if the whole world falls in – as it is indeed doing.

What I am saying here is nothing new – The Good Book (especially the New Testament) said the same thing, over and over. And everyone, to some degree – agrees. But their unconscious mind (which is firmly in control) will reply “But we gotta have it anyway. If the world goes to Hell, let it go to Hell with a bang!”

A short historical review is in order here – a review of the 20th Century, which was mainly an orgy of destruction. WWI and WWI (basically the same war) were wars of industrial destruction, which left behind two super-powers, the US and the USSR. Which promptly went to war with each other – in a most unusual war: the Cold War.

This almost resulted in global nuclear annihilation, when the USSR ordered one of it missile submarines to launch its missiles during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The submarine commander, fortunately for us, ignored these orders.

The Cold War’s objective, and one at which it succeeded completely, was the destruction of the American and Soviet economies – which ended unexpectedly with the Soviet collapse.

But meanwhile, back in America, post-war affluence – the most exaggerated one the world had ever seen – had destroyed America, without firing a shot. I witnessed this personally, as a child, as a young college graduate, and as a working adult. Like everyone else, I had no understand of what was going on. I only had the strong feeling that something was wrong. And that things were not turning out the way they were supposed to.

Even much later, in the beginning of the 21st Century, when this was completely obvious, people were still saying “Nothing wrong is going on!” Or its close opposite – when fingers were pointed at nearly everything imaginable (such as Terrorism) as the Problem.

When the Problem was that we had been destroyed by Affluence – and destroyed completely.

How this happened, I am not sure. Except the same thing happens to spoiled children – they do not grow up, and cannot function as adults. This happened to a whole society, or culture – the culture of Affluence (with a capital A).

Being and Writing

Being, for me is a very big deal – it is everything. Either I am, or I am not. And having my druthers, I would rather be than not be. I really get worked up about this.

It amazes me that most people feel differently. But even more amazingly, that they are unaware of this preference – which is not too surprising, since if you do not exist, you cannot be aware of much of anything.

But here a strange reversal takes place, which no one seems to have noticed – this state of being nothing feels like its opposite: being everything. Follow me? It’s the oldest and strangest fact in human psychology – for us, opposites are identical. And this gets us into all kinds of trouble.

People in this state, the vast majority of the population, cannot see why anyone would want to be – since to them, this is being nothing – and is subject to the strongest social disapproval.

The key phrase here is social disapproval – a skill contemporary society excels at. Growing up as a child in this society – although I sometimes wonder how much growing up I have done – has left me a badly damaged person. But – and this is very important – I do exist - dammit. I cannot brag about this, because it is a social handicap – but for some reason I have ended up this way – and I have to live with it.

McLuhan – another strange duck – has provided an important insight here. He pointed out that we have extended ourselves into our technologies – most importantly, Television. He did not live to experience the Computer – the double-whammy that finished us off.

It did not have to finish us off – if we had stayed in control of it. But alas, we did not. We quickly started serving it (and being it) with disastrous consequences. This is another one of our human abilities – to merge with our technologies – a huge advantage and (as it turned out) a huge disadvantage.

But I see I have neglected my subject – which is being and writing - and I must get down to work.

Being is mostly a matter of being in the body – not being in the mind. But writing is a mental activity and a emotional (bodily) activity. And here is where an immense confusion ensues. Somehow. words on paper (or a computer screen) have to connect people. But, beginning in the US with its Civil War – and soon beginning everywhere with WWI – the human race went completely crazy. And has never completely recovered.

I sometimes wonder at my obsession with writing (and reading). A very strange obsession that many have wondered at. I suspect it is genetic, something I inherited from my mother’s mother – not someone I would consciously emulate, since she was a driven person. But I was her favorite – something I relished very much (since my mother did not feel this way about me at all).

Now you know the secret of my life – I crave approval.

The Lost Individual

This is more John Dewey, from the book Individualism Old and New, from the Chapter The Lost Individual, which was taken from an article he wrote for the New Republic in 1930. I have copied the second paragraph, and part of the third paragraph here:

What is mean here by “the lost individual” is, however so irrelevant to the question that it is not necessary to decide between the two views. For by it is meant a moral and intellectual fact which is independent of any manifestation of power in action. The significant thing is that the loyalities which once held individuals, which gave them support, direction and unity of outlook in life, have well-nigh disappeared. In consequence, individuals are confused and bewildered.

It would be difficult to find in history an epoch as lacking in solid and assured objects of belief and approved ends of action as the present. Stability of individuality is dependent upon stable objects to which allegiance attaches itself. There are, of course, those who are still militantly fundamentalist in religious and social creed. But their very clamor is evidence that the tide is set against them.

For the others, traditional objects of loyalty have become hollow or are openly repudiated, and they drift without a secure anchorage. Individuals vibrate between a past that is intellectually too empty to give stability and a present that is too diversely crowded and chaotic to afford balance or direction to ideas and emotion.

Assured and integrated individuality is the product of definite social relationships and publicly acknowledged functions. Judged by this standard, even those who seem to be in control, and to carry the expression of their special abilities to a high pitch are submerged.

They may be the captains of finance and industry, but until there is some consensus of belief as to the meaning of finance and industry in civilization as a whole, they cannot be captains of their own souls – their beliefs and aims…

I wish I could write as well – and could think as well also. America has ignored him. its greatest philosopher!

The Inner and Outer Self

The human situation is complicated, we can all agree on that. But in the last 500 years or so it has become much more complicated. But we cannot agree on that. Why? That is the subject of this posting.

Every organism is part of something much larger. All life is closely related – we are all built of cells, which are much the same the world over. Except for one kind of cells – nerves, which in the human brain have become incredibly complicated.

Actually, the right world to use here is not complicated, but complex. And complexity theory tells us something amazing – as systems become more complex new behaviors appear – out of nowhere. These are called emergent properties.

The human brain is full of these properties – as is human behavior, which is derived, somehow, from our over-developed brains. I want to talk about two of them – the inner self and the way we have become extended – the external self.

We have always been part of our technologies – this is what civilization amounted to: a complex of new technologies – including writing. And they have never been under control – we become whatever our technologies want us to become.

You may object that technologies do not have minds, and cannot will anything. You are right, technically. But practically, the combination of technology and people always results in people modifying their behavior to make maximum use of the newest, most successful, technology. This is what makes a technology successful.

This is most easily seen in warfare – a very human activity. A man with a spear is much more powerful than a man without one. And a phalanx of men armed with spears is more powerful yet. In such a situation the individual man disappears – and only the group remains. A transformation many find hard to resist.

This is the basis of the individual – group conflict. Which is usually resolved to benefit the group.

Modern history began with the Middle Ages – from which it emerged. Modernism was an incredibly complicated (or actually, complex) development – that people are now ignorant of – as they are of most everything. This posting is about how modern history evolved into post-modern history. Another very complicated development – which I can only scratch the surface of.

The big change involved the creation of mass production and mass man. This was a very clever idea – although not a new one. The Greeks had pottery factories operated by slaves, and hundreds of thousand of their pots still exist.

But the Industrial Revolution had something new - energy from fossil fuels – first coal, and then oil. And an explosion of new machines. This, as always, made a new kind of people – the human mass. Here again, this was nothing new. Ancient Rome was full of useless people who demanded bread and circuses - and got them.

But their modern counterpart was different – they could be put to work in the factories, manufacturing mass-produced commodities – at very low prices – to the immense profit of a few. This became know as Capitalism – whose most obvious feature was its ruthlessness.

But this is not what I started to write about. Completely unnoticed, something else was happening – people were extending themselves outward and becoming part of their technologies – which were themselves becoming more and more extended. As I said, this very important development has not been noticed – except for a few, and these have been ignored.

People could not resist this shameful new development – and they didn’t want anyone calling their attention to it. What was shameful about it? It meant they were abandoning their inner selves – which, after all, were their real selves.

Now I must start of the development of today’s subject – the difference between the inner and outer self. The outer self is all our possessions – which possess us. In the Computer world, this means we are networked all over the place. The Economy is also networked, which in practice means it can be manipulated by a few to their benefit. But this is nothing compared to the damage to our inner selves.

Every person, in the course of his (or her) normal development, develops his own personality. In Jungian terms, this is called individuation. And every individual is different. And is accepted as being different. In my little town in Costa Rica I can see this just by walking down the street, and taking note of the people there.

By contrast, if I go a two hour bus ride away to the Central Metropolitan Area (where most of the people live and most of the jobs are) the people have become homogenized – where everyone is much the same. And where everyone studiously ignores this.

I summarize – when people develop in externalized self, they lose their inner self. And cease to function as normal human beings.

You might ask “If you are right, why hasn’t this been noticed?” The answer seems to be “This is normal human behavior (which made it invisible to us) – but carried to extremes – which produced effects that we could not have anticipated.”

Of course, you will ask “What’s the solution?” My answer is “I don’t know, but the first step would be recognizing where we are – which seems impossible.”

The Magic That Makes All-Powerful

Magic is always involved in power, and is a necessary part of what it is. But being all-powerful is a fatal aberration produced by a fatal kind of irresistible magic. Any people under its spell are doomed.

And in our present global culture this means nearly everyone. We have been overwhelmed by this all-powerful magic – the belief that we have grabbed the world in sucked it into ourselves. Making us everything.

Now that I have written that last paragraph, I am amazed by it. I am usually perplexed by the difficulty explaining this new environment. Perhaps I should explain how I came across this sudden inspiration.

I was watching a bus-load of German tourists taking pictures of our Catholic Church, one of the few remaining from the Colonial Era. I asked myself “What on earth are they trying to do?”

I am also reading a book about Imagism in poetry. Where the author, Daniel Tiffany, is discussing Visuality – a surprisingly difficult subject.

And I have written about my father the photographer whose studio produced images intended to show the respectability of his customers.  An obsession that was fading, and disappeared, along with the studio.

And I am listening to The Winds of War, and marveling at how well it illuminates WWII – and also how it has had no effect, because the survivors of that war had lost their ability to appreciate it – or indeed, anything else.

And even, at the subliminal level, the religion of my family – who thought they were the chosen people (and therefore very respectable) but who too were in the process of disappearing.

People who are all-powerful are not concerned with their respectability.

Closely associated with respectability was the impulse towards perfectibility.  Which was being superceded by its opposite – the impulse to be defective and make defective.

Finally, in my declining years, I can look back and see these conflicts (and their resolutions). And compare myself to another recluse – Emily Dickinson. A genius who is still in the process of being discovered – over one hundred years after her death.

But let me return to the subject – and the magic that makes all-powerful. Which has consumed the world. And is in the process of destroying it.

No one, as far as I know, has noticed this. And I can only marvel. Instead, everyone is determined not to notice it.

And this is where we are.

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