We no longer realize how terrible this is – to be rejected. It is, in fact, the same as being killed. We cannot live without the approval of others.
People who have been rejected have to find someone, or some group – that will accept them. This is a matter of life or death for them – and they make it their top priority.
Once they find (or make) that all-important accepting group – something strange always happens – they recreate the original rejecting situation!
I saw this happening, first hand, in my marriage of five short years. Beth did her best to be the loving wife – but had a complete mental breakdown – and told me she no longer wanted me in her life. She rejected me – and a few years later rejected herself – she killed herself. But I have to give her credit – she did not kill me, as many wives have done.
I am now living in a house where the wife did just that – rejected and killed the husband. He is buried just few blocks up the road, in the local cemetery. He had no idea what was happening to him – no one did, including his doctors, who treated him for everything they could think of. He should have just bailed out – realized he was in a hopeless situation – and abandoned his wife and kids. Who would have gotten along fine without him.
I have a cousin who did just that. He graduated as a social worker, but found he could not do that. He was married, with children at the time, living near Cleveland, Ohio – and his wife rejected him completely. But he was lucky, he had a married sister living in the Washington, DC, area – and he lived with them while he figured out what he wanted to do with his life. The DC area was friendlier that the Cleveland area, and he became a successful surveyor – and remarried.
Here I must talk about my mother, who was not a good mother. I was rejected before I was born – in utero. Two fetuses before me had bailed out, but I decided I would tough it out – no bad mother was going to kill me! I’m not sure if that was the right decision – but right or wrong I made it – and had to live with it.
I lived with rejection all my working life, ending up in Silicon Valley, in the Nineties. I was rejected plenty of times – but I made the same decision – no bad place was going to kill me!
I bailed out, and was saved by Costa Rica.