Perhaps there are other alternatives – when people are not sure of their feelings. But these are unstable – and soon resolve into one or the other. Or, more likely – the surface appearance of love, covering a deeper one of hate. With little awareness of this ambivalence.
I saw this, very strikingly, in my marriage of five years. Beth was determined to a loving wife – but had a complete mental breakdown – that uncovered the hatred she acquired from her parent’s marriage – and she ordered me out of her life!
Her solution, one that never works – was to ignore the problem – and assume it will go away by itself. It never does. It usually gets worse. Beth ended up killing herself.
There is a lot of talk now about unethical behavior – where it comes from, and how to prevent it. But no talk about love – at one time, not too long ago – the most common of preoccupations. This subject is now off limits – too emotionally explosive!
People are now living in an emotional pressure-cooker – afraid the top will blow off, any time. Meanwhile, the cooking goes on – turning out lives that have only experienced hate.
But this cooking has also produced cooperative behavior! To make their software work, programmers have to trust each other. Something the 99 percent cannot conceive of.
We now live in a society in transition – in a total mess. Because it tries to ignore the human basics of:
Love and hate.