This can be done – I have seen it happen. Although I have also seen it usually does not happen – a toxic environment is usually overwhelming, because that is what it is supposed to accomplish – the destruction of the individual
We have gone through a period when society favored the development of the individual – followed by a period when it does not – the present, in which we find ourselves. And in which – parenting is difficult.
Some parents are incompetent – but they do not enforce this pattern on their children – and some parents do.
I limited myself to messing up my own life (that I could do, easily enough) and did not have children – the smartest decision I ever made. I was able to do this, because I felt what was happening to me, and was able to act on this feeling. You have to do both – feel, and act on those feelings.
Perhaps it all boils down to this – our attitude towards our mother.
And Western Civilization has treated its women badly. Feminists have picked up on this, quite successfully – but have simply reversed the process – they hate men. And are not interested in repairing this rupture.
Doing this would be a huge effort. And they often develop a close relationship with another woman instead.