Sex and Money
Sex is important, and money is important. Man is the only animal with both. But without the moxie to manage this explosive mixture.
My personal experience of this was typical. I was obsessed with Sex (with a capital S) and thought it the most important thing in the world – indeed, in the entire universe. I didn’t get along with the girls, relationships were too complicated – so I masterbated a lot. I was, in short, a mixed-up kid. And remained that way for most of my life.
In my old age (I am 79) I could say my celibate behavior is due to increased wisdom – but in truth, it is due to a lack of money. Women (even in Costa Rica) are expensive.
But this simple explanation is not truthful. There have been women down here, perfectly willing to have sex with me, on almost any basis. But I have balked. Why? Because I was not smart enough to manage a sexual relationship.
The ones I had in the past (including a marriage of five years) were a disaster. I came to the conclusion that giving a woman that much power over me, was not a smart idea. I don’t have enough will-power to manage it.
This is no doubt due to the relationship between my father and mother (she was the boss, and she didn’t even try to hide this) and this was typical of the Midwest in general – matriarchies were the rule, and the men died early.
I saw no reason to continue this.