A Survivor of Grief Tells Her Own Story

Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

What a terrible title! A better title would be “Success didn’t mean much to me, after my husband died.” But no publisher would have touched it.

People only want to hear good news, not bad news – such as the oldest fact of all – we all die, and this causes suffering to the loved ones we leave behind. Life is full of pain that cannot be eradicated. And we have to recognize this.

The only solution, and a common one – is not to love at all. Or only pretend to love, and pretend it is real.

I have to plead guilty to that charge. I was married to a woman who could not love me – and I married her knowing that. When she died, I did not suffer much. And was even relieved to finally get rid of her memory.

Her story is more complicated. She knew she was overreacting to the death of her husband, but could not help herself. This is also a common story – we are in the grip of forces we cannot understand. The best we can do is recognize this – recognize our craziness. And even write about it.

Which she has done.


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