“Love arises from within ourselves as an imaginative act, a creative synthesis that aims to fulfill our deepest longings, our oldest dreams, that allows us both to renew and transform ourselves.” Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are.
Through love we imagine a new way of being. You see me as I’ve never seen myself. You airbrush my imperfections, and I like what you see. With you, and through you, I will become that which I long to be. I will become whole. Being chosen by the one you chose is one of the glories of falling in love. It generates a feeling of intense personal importance. I matter. You confirm my significance.
Against this, I can say, with complete confidence – that I have never been in love! I thought I was in love when I was married, we both did – what else could we have thought? But that was the thinnest of illusions, that was soon swept away. By the hatred in both our families.
At the same time, I can see many others doing the same thing – my Mother and Father, for example. And everyone else in my family.
I can even point at entire towns that are this way – or even the MidWest (a huge area) where I was raised.
I can remember Ida Lutz, the Avon Lady in my home town of 1000 people. She was a gossip, who always started by saying “I know I shouldn’t be saying this!” Mother, a very religious woman (the whole town was religious) was always very eager to hear the latest.